the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
