I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize