I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
well you can't waste a boner
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
