He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize