Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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