butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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