Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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