This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
