you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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