when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
