Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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