Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
