A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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