You're my little dorito
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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