i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just tell him i said nine months
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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