Moan for me like Helen Keller
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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