Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
