Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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