Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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