I think I won the penis lottery.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
