I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Randomize
