Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
