i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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