so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize