Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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