operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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