Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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