she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
