does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
