please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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