I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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