you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
