I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
