I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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