dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
