So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
