If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
