i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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