yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
