The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
