I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
