i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
