Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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