So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
