she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
