Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I wish you could order shots online.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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