yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
