when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
