no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
