She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
