yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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