I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
