make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
