One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize