He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
