even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
