Having a random hookup so left but love u
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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