She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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