There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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