i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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