I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
