I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
