Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
