You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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