Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
