I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize