yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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