We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
