So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
