I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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