the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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