I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i think my mom watched the whole time
My Higher Power is John Stamos
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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