made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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