he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
